One thing Whoever invented this lie and I m pretty sure it was a man needs a medal for Excellence in Marketing selling women the story that they can do it all and have it all leaving women "exhausted trying to please everyone and themselves while men get off lightly because they poor things get off lightly because they poor things "trying to please everyone and themselves while men get off lightly because they poor things can multi task Leaving them time to do what they want to doThis book addresses the fact that many women struggle to set boundaries and gives you ideas on how to challenge your boundaries not ust the ones in your head but how to challenge the boundaries that you have either set yourself with others or they have set for you and you have complied withThe author has personal experience of boundary issues as well as being a psychotherapist and realising that most of her clients have boundary issuesEven if you think you set all of your own boundaries you may have your eyes opened by this book there are probably plenty of boundaries that you didn t set and if you want them the change by the end of this book you will have ideas of how to do it I wish I could give this book six out of five stars because Cole has written a magnificent literary aid for self awarenessgovernance all women should read Men similarly would surely benefit from many of Boundary Boss pieces of advice and promptsSelf help books often are all fluff and little substance That is not the case with this read because the reader is transported through many non abstract paradigms that clarify best practices as is for the first time This book is something one should revisit over and again tracking notes and personal reflectionsInsight gleaned from Boundary Boss has made me a better person After intense reading about self help books in the recent years I now barely learn new concepts when I pick up a self help book But this book is amazing Inner Child When you are young and Your Need Is Not Met You Ar need is not met you ar want to thank NeGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and advaced copy of this titleSuch a healing bookIf i had the opportunity to meet the author i would hug her so tight and i would thank her with all my heart for creating this beautiful mind opening and healing bookIt took me some time to finish it because of how deep it touched my soul but it was all worth it This is a book i know i will come back to anytime i have a problem with an emotion or a situation and find guidance about the reaction i must take in order to maintain my mental healthYou helped me in the darkest phase of my I got a digital arc for this book from NetGalleyAs I started reading this book I began feeling triggered by the criteria of what makes a relationship a co dependant one and the check lists I ticked off the uncertain I became about this book and what it was implying You see I thought it was yet another book about individualistic ideology where any acts of service I do for the sake of God are seen as me being in an unhealthy attachment to the creation of God However as I kept reading this realisation dawned on me If I am some of the things that are in this list of what makes one co dependant and they aren t affecting me or anyone around me in a negative or toxic way then that mea. Nd what to do next• How your uniue “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors and strategies to redesign it• Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say• How to manage “Boundary Destroyers” including emotional manipulators narcissists and other toxic personalities• Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over giving overdoing and even over feeling If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself give yourself the gift of Boundary Bos.
review ´ eBook or Kindle ePUB Ò Jennifer Brown25 stars I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley All thoughts and opinions are my from the publisher via NetGalley All thoughts and opinions are my appreciate what the author is trying to do in this book however I think they could have done better I loved how they have guides for us to recognize our boundaries but their examples took way too much space and most of the time I ust don t care I wished this could be
direct to theto the and only include examples that really showed when we unconsciously are compromising our boundaries and how are we going to fix that and be aware whenever that happens This book goes on and on about what happened to different people and in my opinion did not present the best examples to impart what they are trying to say to their readers Throughout the entire reading experience I felt like I was ust here for the tea or the gossip to one s back story instead of learning about how to be aware whenever our boundaries is concerned and how do we nurture healthy boundaries with ourselves and with others I came across Terri Cole s YouTube channel a few years ago and immediately liked her work Cole has a no nonsense style when it comes to imparting advice and educating people about problematic boundaries and communication And she translates this approach effectively in her writing as well The book is written in a relatively informal conversational tone including casual American slang and swear words potentially making it accessible to the avid as well as the occasional reader There are case studiesstories of people from Cole s experience at the start of chapters for the reader to grasp a concept Throughout Cole refers to the reader with terms of endearment like mama lovebug and beauty Right from the first page she roots for you inviting you to evaluate your circumstances and relationship dynamicsAs a mental health researcher I was familiar with the idea of boundaries and some of the associated basics But this book made me think deeply about what Cole calls your basement and boundary blueprint I particularly benefited from the 3s for clarity and the 3Rs Recognize Release Respond It is amazing how you can change your response to a situationperson when you realize the odds are not stacked against youFull disclosure When I started reading this book I felt the need to put forth an argument against some of Cole s claims As a Muslim I believe in principles such as giving benefit of the doubt spiritual generosity making excuses for others and having a good opinion of them and in turn God having inherent honour and dignity by being a creation of God ie human alleviating the distress of another with the intention to gain reward in the Hereafter bearing patience in times of difficulty in exchange for expiation of sins and the list goes on I made a note of these as I went along and realized a few chapters in that Cole was not dismissing or disregarding my beliefs She was advocating for my self protection and self care In fact she agreed with some of my beliefs She recognized that every person is uniue and deserves to be treated with respect and honour Practising my religion and setting healthy boundaries the Break Free From Over Functioning Over Delivering People Pleasing and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You DeserveMost of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences desires or deal breakers Instead we hide our feelings behind passive aggressive behavior deny our own truths or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode potentially destroying hard won trust and relationshipsThe most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common the ability to create and communicate clear healthy boundaries This ability is hands Wo were not mutually exclusive Rather they could co exist This meant I could for example go out of my way to I could for example go out of my way to a distressed family member if I consciously chose to do so instead of acting in response to a faulty blueprint read feeling burdened to help someone while abandoning my own priorities and conseuently blaming and resenting the family member for not appreciating my effort to help them It was a subtle shift in my understanding and behaviour but an empowering one neverthelessHaving said that it is definitely tricky to interpret psychotherapeutic advice while also honouring your cultural values but it s doable It can indeed allow you to live free as the book title says Thank you to Terri Cole for sharing her knowledge with the world In the current era of overwhelming digital knowledge championing all types of mental health aphorisms I would recommend taking from credible sources which include this book This week I savored Boundary Boss by Terri Cole Normally I am a pretty swift reader but this book is FILLED with opportunities for self reflection and well work so I spent a luxurious amount of time reading it This book spoke directly to my heart and Terri Cole s no nonsense conversational and heartful voice felt like I was having a conversation with a dear and very real friend I don t have enough space to share what I ve learned here but here was my BIG take away Boundaries matter And most important the boundaries we create for OURSELVES matter most In the past I ve put too much focus on the boundaries outside of my control trying to change everything and everyone around me instead of doing the hard work inside my head and heart to truly change from within But after reading I can t go back and can feel a tangible shift in my energy for what s to come I highly recommend everyone read this Thank you NetGalley for giving me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an reviewDidn t realize what I read is this book is what I
needed to hearto hear book is full of stories and examples of everyday clients that come into her office that answers to some of their problems is learning to set boundaries That a simple to no and not feeling ashamed it can give a person power that someone have been trapped into people pleasing or even co dependency She gives a lot of tips and advice on how to set boundaries and overcome the setbacks of people crossing your boundaries This was a refreshing read and certainly made me rethink my boundaries Great book on boundaries Review will be up on my blog later this week wwwtherapybooknookcomblog This is a book aimed at Women Because It Seems From Personal Experience That Women Have because it seems from personal experience that women have harder time setting boundariesRight from an early age many girls are taught to serve and to please to accept that boys and men are important and to put them first So we grow up as people pleasers Meanwhile boys are taught to get out in the world to be adventurous They set their own boundariesit s no wonder then that grown women struggle to set boundaries Even now women are told that they can multi task and men can t therefore they can do No Way Home juggling busyobs kids and housework whereas men can only focus on. Own the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy happy self determined lifeIn Boundary Boss psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others without guilt or drama and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional spiritual physical personal and professional lifeSince becoming a Boundary Boss is a process Cole also offers actionable strategies scripts and techniues that can be used in the moment whenever you need them You will learn• How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated ,